i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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