i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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