When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
