it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
