they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
