HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
