I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You did what with his pubic hair?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
