Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
