oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
