I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
