someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
