Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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