oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
