The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
