Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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