Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
