yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
