Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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