Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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