My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
