Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
