The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
