GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
