I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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