I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
