so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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