I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
