it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
