I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
