I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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