Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
