So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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