she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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