O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
