Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
