yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
