I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
