i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
