on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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