we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
