have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
