You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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