don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
