i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
