apparently the secret to your success is patron
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
