Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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