man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
