I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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