I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
