ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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