i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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