Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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